Fission Impossible

It was an appealing offer, no matter how one looked at it; Just pluck down $5 for Metal Gear Solid 4, the most anticipated title for anyone even thinking about getting a PS3, and have access to a two week Beta of its online component, Metal Gear Online.

Having only a PS2 at the time and a PC not nearly powerful enough to run Steam, the first Metal Gear Online, included with MGS3 Subsistence, was an absolute joy to play. I dedicated quite a bit of time with it, and would have dedicated even more had the cheaters not arrived and made a mess of things. The most infamous cheat involved going invisible and setting all opponents on fire, with no way at all to retaliate. Unfortunately, Konami did nothing to remove this cheat, and the servers eventually closed for good.

But that was okay, because they were also dedicated to bringing an even better online experience with MGS4's online mode. I wrote an extensive news article that perfectly conveyed my anticipation for this game, and I fervently counted the days until the beta was officially ready.

That's when the invisible flame thrower made a metaphorical return.

The first bit of ugliness involved the Konami ID site, in which you were required to register and create a Konami Game ID with. Nope, having the Beta code wasn't enough, you had to create a separate username, and this website was the only place to do it.

Well that's no big deal, right? This isn't the first game to force you to use an official website, and the process is usually quick enough. The Rockstar Social Club took less than two minutes to create a username, after all.

The Konami ID site is not the Rockstar Social Club site. It is nothing but pure evil, designated to torment you with timeouts, frugal naming requirements, and just plain lies.

The first hurdle occurs in just one click. After putting down your date of birth (why do websites ask for this? It's so easy to make up a birthdate), one of two things happen. You proceed to the next screen, or you get a "page timeout" message. Guess what the odds of success are here.

Now if by some miracle you get to proceed, you're now required to fill out the extensively long form. It turns out creating one username isn't enough. Oh no, you have to fill out both a Konami ID and a Game ID. The latter is required to participate in the Beta. The former? Well, no one really knows its purpose. The ID names also require everything to be lower case.

Also, both ID's require separate passwords for each. The Konami ID requires a long password with letters and numbers involved. The Game ID requires a password of only numbers.

From here all sorts of things can go wrong. The Game ID is taken, your email won't be accepted, or the page will just time out altogether. Even if you use an autofill attachment with Firefox, you're still liable for errors and timeouts.

As the official date of the MGO server was fast approaching, I spent hours trying to get my information ready on time. Fortunately I pulled it off, with the Game ID of nothin-at-all. I really wanted to use Stupid_Sexy_Snake, but apparently someone beat me to it.

But then despite all the trials with the website, along with people getting incomplete beta codes with their preorders, Konami decided to hit us hard just one more time. The Beta simply would not work.

Perhaps at midnight: Nope. How about 3:00am? Nadda. Waited up all day and night? Good news! Konami postponed the beta for an undetermined time (recent reports place it to this Friday).

In short, this has been the biggest gaming disaster of 2008 so far. Not since Square delayed the US release of Advent Children for another 8 months (and offered no explanation or modifications to compensate) have I felt betrayed by a quality company. A lot of people are certain that these kinks will help guarantee that the finished game will go online with no problems in its June launch date.

At the rate Konami is going, it wouldn't surprise me if they failed again once the magic hour occurs. Not even Snake could finish a mission this impossible.

Hot FES

What do you think? Better or worse than Monday's pun?

Whether you were tickled pink or disgusted beyond belief, the pun works for this week's hottest acquisition.



For the first time since I accepted the position, the good editor at Primotech had just sent me my first review copy, along with a check to reimburse my previous purchase of God of War PSP. Enclosed is a final review copy of Persona 3: FES, three weeks before it's available to the public. It feels pretty cool to have exclusive access to this, and I've already talked to more than a couple of people stricken with jealousy.

But I certainly won't get a swollen head out of this, and I plan to devote as much time as necessary to the game's new content and finish up with a respectable review once the deadline hits. It's a bit daunting having to start the game over from the beginning (it took long enough just getting in 20 hours of the original P3, and that's not even the halfway point), but even if I can't finish the game in time, I already have most of my opinions laid out (and are quite favorable, for those wondering).

I also purchased Sony's Dualshock 3 controller today, fresh from Gamestop's shipment.



At $58 after tax, it's a pricey sum, but if you're more patient than I am, you can try ordering them here for only $50 total(as well as using the code CAG1SHIP for free shipping). I placed an order myself, with plans to return the unopened controller to Gamestop. Yep, the 'ol switcheroo.

I could have sworn that I read the controller took AA batteries, just like the 360 and Wii controllers, but it turns out that batteries aren't necessary; Like the original sixaxis, this controller has a built-in LED that can be charged through USB, either on the system or with a PC. Even though I have a pair of rechargable batteries, the rest running my various remotes and controllers, this is certainly a welcome feature.

Except for the fact that my controller came completely uncharged, so I had to wait a good 30 minutes to fully charge it. Not sure if this is the standard, but it's bound to upset a few impatient gamers if it is.

But after the charging, I was happy to experience rumble again on a Sony machine, and happier that most of the PS3's games have been patched to include rumble before release. Unfortunately, Ninja Gaiden Sigma still lacks rumble, and it's uncertain if it'll ever be included. It would be nice if Oblivion received a vibration patch down the road as well.

I tried a handful of my collection today, and can offer you some brief impressions on the level of rumbling on each.

Ratchet and Clank: Probably the most disappointing, the game mostly keeps the rumbling to when Ratchet takes an enemy hit, or from some of the bigger explosions. It works, but it would have been nice to have rumbling during cutscenes as well.

Super Star Dust HD: More rumble than Ratchet and Clank, but it oddly leaves some weapons out of the vibration sensation.

Warhawk: Plenty of rumbling to go with the sheer chaos. Tank treads, tires over rubble, explosions, machine gun fire, more explosions, jet turrets, and explosions. Between the rumbling and surround sound, the Warhawk experience is now in full effect.

Devil May Cry 4: But I have to give this game the nod for best PS3 vibration. Capcom has included as much dual shock as possible. Cutscenes, attacks from both yourself and the enemy...even pressing start in the title screen gives off a rumble.

Now that Sony has finally caught up in the controller age, I can only hope to experience some of that rumored directional rumble they panned a bit back, in which the controller would only rumble depending on the direction of the intended effect. For example, an explosion from the right side would cause the right side of the controller to shake, and so on. It seems the rumble has been built right into the bottom handles of the controller, as that is where most of the new weight comes from. Keep in mind it's only slightly heavier than the old sixaxis, not even 1/4 heavier.

Now about in-game XMB....