Not a Haiku

Ever had one of those dreams, during the work week, where you're doing your job as you sleep, unable to satisfy your customers or your boss?

They should pay us overtime for working in our dreams.

Ever had one of those dreams, during the school week, where you're trying to get dressed, get your homework ready, and try to figure out the impossible exam in class?

They should give us A's for studying in our dreams.

Ever had one of those dreams where you're dreaming about your lack of sleep? You toss in turn, watch the sun rise through the window cracks, but all along you've been sleeping the whole time?

That's just messed up.

-Not a Haiku, by JSF

Does the Box Rock my Socks?

Greetings, readers.

I realize I run the risk of alienating a small amount of readers by dedicating two weeks concerning my somewhat impulsive purchase of a videogame console that some of you might A) not care about, or B)have been an avid owner for the past two years.

I even considered the notion of posting a series of daily entries concerning my impressions with the capabilities and features of the Xbox 360, but that notion was quickly abolished, as I knew full well I had not the time nor the dedication to accomplish such a task. If you've been keeping track, I haven't been following my promised plan to keep the blog updated in a specific time frame, even postponing last week's entry by two days past Sunday.

But make no mistake, I will remain dedicated to keeping this blog running. Every day I think of future posts to compose, different template styles to make the layout stand out more, and anything else to get the message across. Even now I'm typing this with a heavy flu affliction, which I could have easily used to delay this entry.

But again, I'm getting through this. Perhaps you already own a 360, or you have no interest in purchasing one. But maybe you are interested, and just need some extra encouragement to help you reach a decision.

Either way, I'm now going to take the time to post my impressions regarding the different features, games, knick-knacks and paddy whacks regarding the Xbox 360.

Now take a deep breath and step out of the chamber. I won't leave you twisting on the wind.

Taking the Box out of the box:

I was a bit leery about purchasing the system, considering there was a small dent on the outer box, but I didn't have the heart to send the Best Buy rep out to find a smooth looking box. Fortunately, everything inside was neatly packed, although that still didn't stop me from retching.



I have expressed before to several people how I absolutely abhor the green scheme used throughout Microsoft's products, so witnessing the copious amounts of green wrapping didn't fill me with confidence. Nevertheless, I pressed onward.

The one time I would hope to see Green:

Okay, so it does sound silly to complain about a style choice with the packaging, but after plugging all the cables and finding a temporary placement for the system, it was at this exact moment where my biggest fears were apparent.



As you may have heard, the Xbox 360 is rather infamous for breaking down at a completely random moment, which could happen in just the second day, thirty days, or even two years after purchase. No matter what sort of technical issues your system may have faced, they are all represented by the power circle in the front of the machine. Green may be tacky, but it also means everything is working fine. But once it hits red, your system is dead.

Fortunately, everything booted up just fine, and after a couple of hours testing things out, everything was still fine. It wasn't too noisy, it wasn't too hot, and one week later it's still running well.




That plug is still ridiculous, though. Just look at it, it's bigger than the Wii.

Update Required? Son of a...oh wait, it finished:

Usually, setting up systems can be a pain, but it only took me a good three or four minutes to add all my information to the Xbox 360. It detected my wireless ethernet bridge without any problems, I was able to transfer the gamertag I made online a week prior, and the one required system update took but one minute at the most. With everything set to my preference, I was greeted by the multi-menu system, or the "System Blade".

I was also greeted with a plethora of ads, with small little graphics urging me to surrender more money into Microsoft's campaign for global supremacy; Halo 3 wireless pads, downloadable Family Guy episodes, the aforementioned Gamerfuel, it's like a timeshare. One would think Micro$oft would be content with the hardware profits plus the subscription fees to Xbox Live, but to charge "gamer points" for Gamertag pictures and wallpapers is kind of foul (look under "Xbox Live Arcade").

All Good Games have "Gears" in their name; Metal Gear, Guilty Gear, Xenogears...:

One can't go wrong with making Gears of War one's first 360 game; All the praise it received nearly a year ago still stands today. The graphics are absolutely outstanding to the point of nearly achieving perfection. This is due, in my opinion, largely to the direction of the graphics; Everything is portrayed with nurturing care and precision. The character designs are generic Hollywood caricatures (especially Cole Train, who stands to outdo Barret as gaming's biggest stereotype, with grotesquely large biceps, a backstory of being a professional football player, and a need to address his fellow soldiers as "baby"), but they are such an accurate representation of Hollywood sci-fi characters that they feel more imaginative than they actually are.

The real draw with Gears of War is how brutal and unforgiving everything is; despite the rather obnoxious dialog that eschews GI Joe (and not the original '80s version, but the "Extreme" '90s version), this is one of the most adult games ever made. All the shooting, killing, and action is done with sheer ferocity and carnage, it's practically an adrenaline rush whether you're playing alone or against other people. The sheer detail of the violence can also drive even the most avid enthusiasts a bit queasy after a while; I've read how some people just can't stomach the "Curb Stomp" move, as it brings back too many memories from the infamous moment in American History X, although it's not like using a chainsaw to grind your enemies into meat chunks is any more humane.

And I have yet to mention my favorite aesthetic in the game, the running animation; For the first time ever, a game developer has successfully managed to mimic the viewpoint and intensity that a real person experiences when running in a hasty and focused manner. I learned yesterday that fans of the series refer to this as the "Trailer Run", due to its repeated use in famous movie trailers. It's incredible to just simply run, and it looks even better when your whole team is running at once.

Multiplayer:

It goes without saying that Gears' multiplayer mode was my first experience with Xbox Live, giving me a first look into the kind of community Microsoft caters to. It was a pretty rocky start at first, with my very first teamplay resulting in one of my own teammates shooting me in the head, not to mention the copious amounts of racial slurs, name calling, internet usage, and hyperventilating laughter whenever someone is pwned in the worst way possible.

But fortunately, not everyone is like this, and when you're playing for or against a group of people with the right kind of skills and braincells, it makes for one of the most fun and addicting multiplayer experiences ever. There's so much fun and experimenting to be had, you don't even feel upset about losing, since you'll almost always die in a bloody spectacular fashion. One session ended abruptly with four people from both sides chainsawing each other in sequence, their body parts splattered across the concrete.

I feel the best thing about Gears' multiplayer is that it's impossible to completely dominate in it; I was worried I would be utterly destroyed by the kind of people who give up work or social status to master this game, but it could go either way here. Get them before they get you, it's as simple as that.

Not Hazard, Not Dome, Not Sphere...It's Bioshock:

My next experience was Bioshock, albeit in demo form (but not to worry, I hold the retail copy in my hands now); The amount of hype and praise this game received became one of the biggest deciding factors for me to purchase a 360.

Sadly, the game did not live to the hype....it went above and beyond it. The virtual world created here is truly believable, as beautiful as it is horrifying.

In fact, I'm going to refrain from trying to describe the experience in words and just move along. It wouldn't do the game any justice to describe everything to you. If you're a gaming enthusiast, find some sort of way to play this, and be done with it.

Paying for Gold:

As you likely know by now, Microsoft requires that you pay an annual fee to play against other people. While it seems unfair (and in part, it is), I do find the various amounts of online features (such as a dedicated friends list, being able to see what your buddies are playing, sending voice and picture messages, etc) and achievements quite commendable. I was promised a free month trial before plunging in the required $50 fee, but I was unfortunately short-charged; it seemed the free trial was only eligible for anyone who created a gamertag within the console, not beforehand. So I had to make due with an obvious-sounding duplicate account until I could find a good enough deal for the subscription.

While they aren't all outstanding chaps, the online community in Xbox Live far exceeds anything else console-wise. It seems there's always someone playing something, so finding a group of people to play with is not nearly as taxing as with other consoles. I finally caved in and purchased Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the Xbox Live Arcade, and I didn't regret it; The game played great with four other people (pending decent connections), the action was frantic and still held up to this day.

The catch, however, was that you couldn't simply pay for the game itself, which was a cheap 400 points ($5). You could only purchase "Microsoft Points" in increments, forcing me to spend $6.50 total, leaving only enough points to purchase a Gamertag picture.

That's how they get you, and that' s why I'm currently wearing a Brock Samson avatar.

Custom Music:

The ability to play whatever music I please with whatever game I choose was one of those gaming features I've been wanting to try since my high school days; While some purists will insist that you should only play the default music as the developers intended, I can't help but find this music-swapping feature incredibly cool. Getting the 360 to recognize my PC was the most difficult thing to do, although a quick install of Zune and a simple restart got things running.

I'm still looking for appropriate music to use, but I've found a few tracks that I tend to load up regularly during Gears of War multiplayer. I've become especially fond of using BT's "Dark Heart Dawning"

, though I couldn't possibly tell you why. The rhythm just matches, I suppose.

Whoever concluded that the Benny Hill theme matches with whatever game you're playing deserves a gold medal, however, because that is very true. It alone makes Dead Rising worth the purchase.

Conclusion:

There was a comment I read from a certain gaming forum that hit hard and true for today's situation:

"If you enjoy gaming, you need to own all three consoles."

As things stand now, truer words were never spoken. Even though the next generation of videogame systems has barely begun, there isn't a single console that is dominating with its respective lineup. Each system has strengths and weaknesses, and games worth enjoying.

If you grew up with Nintendo, or remain loyal to Sony, let me break it to you: There's no shame in owning an Xbox. Microsoft has a good thing going here, with an incredibly dedicated online community. If you've ever considered purchasing one, now is the time to do it. It isn't conformism, it's just the way the times are moving. We all thought they wouldn't succeed, but at this rate they're here to stay. It still remains to see who will dominate the hearts, minds, and wallets of today's generation of gamers.

Until then, give Dr Shizuma an invite. I'm going to go see what all this Halo hullabaloo is about.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Box

So yes, I'm late once again with my entry, although I do have a legitimate excuse this time. Although considering how I promised to improve on getting these entries done on time, no excuse is justified.

But hey, it's Labor Day weekend, so I'm sure most of you can cut me some slack. This Monday is the real Sunday...except for those of you who work.

Like me.

But don't cry for me, since I'll be paid for double time and a half, along with free pizza and lax phone calls. But more to the point, here's today's entry.

So as I mentioned before, I'm into videogames. Since I began my hobby, I've always been strictly a 'two system per generation' player. In the beginning, I thought Nintendo's systems were the only things I ever needed. But despite the childlike level of excitement I felt when I first received the Super Nintendo, the sudden presence of Sega's Genesis machine, featuring a new teen driven attitude in its advertising (especially with a certain blue hedgehog that was drawing attention away from Nintendo's jumping man) had pulled me over and purchase a second system.

Things became more complicated when Sony arrived on the scene, charging in with guns blazing against Nintendo's time honored traditions and wholesome family fun. The Playstation's vast array of games and full motion videos made me regret buying a Nintendo 64 early on. And when it came time to upgrade again, with the Playstation 2 and Gamecube entering the scene, the choice for my first new system was made much more obvious.

Then things took an interesting turn when Microsoft decided to follow in Sony's success, with the advent of the Xbox. No one took this machine seriously at first; An obnoxiously large design, little to no Japanese support, a plethora of additional accessories and subscriptions that required more money to be plunked down, and Sony taking an early dominance with their second system left the Xbox clear away from my interest. The only thing about Microsoft's intermediate gaming machine that surprised me was the fact that it actually lasted longer than anyone anticipated.

Turns out people were really digging this game called Halo.

Now we are square in the beginning of the "next generation" of games, for the fourth time since Mario's 8 bit beginnings, and the choices available to me aren't as black and white anymore. Sony's Playstation 3, which promised the most realistic graphics and horsepower that no other system could hope to match, is currently failing to dominate the video game kingdom as its forefathers had done twice before. The Nintendo Wii has taken everyone by surprise with its worldwide numbers, yet despite all of its praise and multimillion profits, its actual selection of games have been paltry, with a large majority catering to a new sort of crowd that leaves us '80s OG's out of the loop.

But perhaps most shocking of all is Microsoft's continuing existence. Despite early doubts and scoffs that seemed eerily similar to their first system's debut, the Xbox 360 is enjoying a surprising level of success, especially in North America. No longer relying on Halo alone, the 360 has been home to a good amount of quality exclusive titles, the most recent a wildly praised first person horror game called Bioshock.

But despite that, I still held reservations about the system, even scoffing at the mere notion of owning one; The system was infamous for periodically breaking down, the additional charges regarding simple additions (such as wallpapers, pictures and the like) were absurd, and the community that Microsoft was catering to were of the MTV/Myspace/Xtreme variety of thirteen year olds that I had no desire to be a part of.

Ironic how I was repelled by the same attitude and presence that had compelled me to purchase a Genesis years before.

But then the increasing hype, along with my increasing paychecks, had forced me to take a serious consideration to purchasing the system. With the recent arrival of HDMI-enabled models that reportedly contain stronger heatsinks to reduce (but not eliminate) the possibility of machinery malfunction, and the current drought plaguing both the Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii, I had finally put aside my inhibitions....

And henceforth decided to "Jump In".



It took a little digging, but I managed to find a Premium model with HDMI enabled in Best Buy during Labor Day, and then proceeded to purchase Gears of War in the CompUSA next door, which I remembered was advertised for $50. Turns out there was a promotional special at the time, though, and I ended up paying only $39 for it.

And how have I enjoyed the system so far? Well, that's something you can look forward to in my next entry. Sorry, but if I were to post all my impressions now, I'm certain it would take another day or two for this entry to go up, and I'm late enough as it is.

See you this Sunday. Double promise, this time.